Bertemu Kawan Lama

Hari ini saya senang sekali, karena bertemu kawan lama, tetangga depan rumah, dan teman sepermainan saya waktu kecil dulu. Sekian lama ngga sering ngobrol. Hanya percakapan (baca : chatting) singkat, sekedar bertanya kabar.

Saya dulu bersekolah di SMP yang sama, hanya saja tidak pernah sekelas. Masa kanak-kanak pun kami beda sekolah, dia di SD Negeri dan saya di MI.

Seingat saya, dulu, saya sering ke rumahnya, dan kami bermain-main dengan sepatu ibunya (hi-heels) ☺hë•⌣•hë•⌣•hë•⌣•hë☺ , atau numpang nonton tivi, lihat film Ksatria Baja Hitam, Airwolf, dan McGyver, karena saya ngga punya tivi.

Lepas SMU, saya lanjut sekolah D1 Stan di Semarang. Sejak itu, saya semakin jauh. Kami tidak pernah cerita-cerita.

Beruntung sekali ada Facebook, kami jadi terhubung kembali (terima kasih, Bang Mark). Dan sekarang dengan chatting kami bisa lebih sering bertukar kabar.

Sore tadi dia, panggil saja Pink,(hihihi….) jauh-jauh datang dari Purwakarta. Senangnyaaa dikunjungi kawan masa kecil. Dia sekarang sudah jadi manager di perusahaan swasta di sana. Saya senang mendengarnya.

Sukses terus ya, Pink…. Semoga Allah memudahkan setiap langkah dan usahamu. Titip salam buat Ibu, Mas dan adik-adikmu. Terima kasih telah mengunjungi kami. See you soon, Pink… 🙂


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Patience

So be patient with gracious patience.” (Quran Surah 70:5)

Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm with glad tidings and do not repulse them. (Bukhari)

There are several reasons why you should remain calm when disciplining your child. One reason is because you want to develop a loving relationship with her. A child that feels loved and respected is more inclined to want to please his parents. This makes things easier for the parent in her role of parenting. You are your child’s primary teacher. You don’t want to lose that connection between you and your child. Even though your child will go through periods in which peer pressure reigns, your child will still be open to your suggestions if you have an understanding relationship. This helps you continue exercising your influence into the period of adolescence and beyond.

Another reason to maintain your composure when disciplining is because when you become angry when correcting your child, rather than emphasizing that you want him to behave, you are instilling in your child that he has the power to control your emotions. Let us say your child is angry because you’re not letting him play his Play Station for three days because he neglected to complete his homework three days in a row during the week. He is angry and vindictive. Even if he has to sit in his room for 30 minutes, it’s worth it if he can ruffle your feathers and make you feel the frustration and pain he’s feeling right now for missing out on his games.

Remaining calm also shows your child that being rude and saying hurtful remarks are not the way to solve his problem. For some high-spirited children, your anger and shouting are likely to escalate and intensify the child’s resistance and encourage a battle of wills. He is likely to start a tantrum or other aggressive behavior that you feel helpless to control. Usually when you feel helpless and at a loss as to what you should do with your child, you tend to resort back to what you’re comfortable and familiar with—hitting. Controlling your anger can stop this power struggle before it starts in the first place.

Remaining calm shows your child you’re in control–you have the reigns. The strong-willed child needs to know you’re the director of him. This actually helps him feel more secure. He wants to know what his limits are, and he wants to be guided.

Narrated Abu Hurairah: The Prophet (saw) counseled a man who asked for his advice and told him three times “Don’t get angry.” (Bukhari Vol 8 no. 137)

Sometimes parents themselves need to calm down and deal with their own feelings first before they attempt to handle the behavior of their child. If you are in a bad mood or your child has done something that really ticks you off, do not immediately react. Take a breather. Go to your room for a few seconds—or minutes. Count to ten. The Prophet (SAW) counseled not to get angry. He also recommended that when you are angry you should sit down. If you’re already sitting, then lie down. Don’t act upon your anger. Be still until you have calmed down. You will be in a healthier state of mind to make the proper decisions for both you and your child.

When your child observes your actions during your episodes of frustration and anger, he learns from you. If you tend to become physically violent with him when you’re angry, your child will learn this as acceptable behavior. If you rant, curse and shout, he will learn this as acceptable behavior during his periods of anger, too. You are his role model, his teacher. Your actions are what he will emulate.

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.

By Grandma Jeddah


Tulisan ini saya salin dari FB Islam For Kids.

Rasanya ingin menangis membacanya, mengingat saya masih sering terbawa emosi dalam mengurus anak-anak. Dan akibatnya kini sudah mulai tampak.

Tentu saya tidak menginginkan anak-anak tumbuh menjadi pribadi sulit dan kasar. Karenanya, saya yang harus berubah.

Maafkan Mama ya, Nak, belum bisa menjadi teladan yang baik bagi kalian. Mama akan berusaha dan terus belajar….

Dan, tidak ada yang kebetulan kan ketika saya dituntun Allah membaca tulisan ini. الْحَمْدُ لِلَّه , terima kasih, Rabb, Engkau hendak membuatku menjadi baik….

Dan kepada Ayah, ingatkan Mama ya, Yah… Mama akan berjuang.


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Kita Berdua

Pagi tadi, aktifitas saya dan Ulung, bermain di halaman depan rumah. Memetik beberapa daun kembang sepatu yang sudah berwarna kuning, untuk diikatkan pada sulur-sulur tanaman rambat yang ada di halaman.

Hasilnya seperti hiasan gantung. Lumayan cantik, dan yang penting dia senang dengan kegiatan ini. Saya juga senang karena bermain dengan daun-daun dan kembang sepatu adalah mainan saya waktu kecil dulu. Jadi seperti nostalgia saja.

Selanjutnya, Ulung menyiram tanaman sementara saya memotong dan merapikan sulur-sulur yang sudah panjang. Asyik sekali dia. Siapa sih yang ngga suka main air, ☺hë•⌣•hë•⌣•hë•⌣•hë☺.

“Sudah cukup yuk, Dik. Kita cuci kaki dan tangan, yuuk…”


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